By A.A. Navis
HAD you come to my hometown several years ago by bus, you would have stopped near a market. Just about a kilometer from the market, you would arrive on the street of my village. At a small intersection to the right, the fifth intersection, turned to that narrow street. And on the end of the street you would find an old surau1. In front of it, there was a pond in which the water flew through four shower baths.
And at the left porch of the surau you would find an old man who used to sit there with his all decrepit behaviors and religious observance. It had been years he served as garin2, the keeper of the surau. People used to call him Kakek3.
As a keeper, Kakek bargained nothing. He lived from alms collected once a week every Friday. Once a month he earned a quarter of gold fish harvest of the pond. And once a year, people brought fitrah eid4 to him. Yet as garin he didn’t really well known. He was actually known as knife-sharpener. As he did excellent at his work, most people used to ask him for a help, while he never got payoff at all. Women who asked him for a help sharpening knives or scissors gave sambal as its payoff, while men gave him cigarette and, occasionally, money. However, the most he got from them as payoff was gratitude and a bit smile.
But then Kakek did no longer exist. He had already died. There left the surau without its keeper. Until finally children used it as a playground, played whatever they wanted to play. Women who ran out fire-wood often pull out its wallboard or even floor in the nights.
Were you to come now, you only found a picture reflecting a downfall of holiness. And the fall passed on as soon as days went by, as the children ran out in that surau, and as women pulled out its wallboard. And the most important is apathetic attitude of nowadays human being, that do not really care for what must be cared.
And the reason of the downfall was rather a tale that the truth could hardly deny. And this is how the story revealed.
One day I came and paid Kakek’s wages. He was usually glad welcoming me for I was pleased to pay him money. But now on, he seemed very gloomy. He sat himself leaning in the corner with his upright knees propped up both his hand and chin. His sight was wistful straight forward, as if something had run amok his mind. A milk tin of coconut oil, a soft whetstone, long leather sole, and an old razor scattered around his feet. Surely, I had never seen his moping. Also it was not common that my greeting was not answered as it was at that moment. Then, I sat beside him and took that razor. I asked Kakek,
“Whose knife is this, Kek?”
“Ajo Sidi.”
“Ajo Sidi?”
He did not answer. Later on, I remembered Ajo Sidi, the braggart. It had been a long time I did not meet him. And I would like to meet him, again. I was pleased hearing his gibberish. He, Ajo Sidi, could bind people with his peculiar gibberish along the day. But of course it rarely happened since he was always busy with his job. As a braggart, his greatest success was just because all the characters that were told in the story became models to be mocked, and the story became proverbs at last. There were always people around my village that suited to the characters over his stories. Once he told about the characteristics of a frog, and incidentally there was one willing to be a leader that behaved like a frog, then henceforth that leader was called as a frog leader.
Suddenly I again remembered Kakek and Ajo Sidi’s visit. Had Ajo Sidi made gibberish about Kakek? And did the gibberish depress him? I would like to know. Then I asked Kakek for more.
“What did he tell you, Kek?”
“Who?”
"Ajo Sidi."
"What an insolent he is," Kakek shouted.
"Why?"
“Hopefully this razor, which I ground sharply, slaughters his throat.”
“Are you angry, Kakek?"
“Am I? Yes, if I‘m still young, but no more I am. I’m just an old man who’s restraining his manner. It’s been a long time I don’t feel anger. I’m afraid my faith will deprave because of that, and so does my devotions. I’ve done good deeds for quite a long time, done worship, trusted God. It’s been a long time I surrender myself for Him. And God will obviously commiserate a patient and trusting one.”
My curiosity about Ajo Sidi’s story that in some way depressed Kakek turned wild. Again, I asked Kakek,”what does he tell, Kek?”
Unfortunately he kept his mouth into silence. Maybe it was hard for him to tell the story. For I questioned him again and again, then he asked me, “You do know me, don’t you? Since you are a kid, I have already lived here. Since I’m still young, aren’t I? You know exactly what I have all done, haven’t you? Are all my deeds cursed? Does God curse my whole work?”
Surely, I did not have to answer all that questions since I knew that if Kakek started to talk, he definitely would not shut his mouth furthermore. So, I left Kakek with his own questions.
“Since I was still young I have already lived here, haven’t I? I have neither wife, children, nor family like anyone else, do you know that? I don’t ever think about my loneliness. I find no wealth, not also build a house. I give all my life only for God the Greatest. I don’t make someone in difficult situations. I do even hardly kill a single fly. And at this moment, I was told that I was cursed. Hell bait. Will God go mad if I do things as such, don’t you think? Will I be cursed if I worshipped myself only for Him? I don’t think about Yesterday, because I’m sure that God is merciful and gracious to those who trust Him. I woke up every morning. I took holy water to pray. I hit the drum waking up men from their slumber, merely to make them pray Him. I prayed every time for five. I worshipped Him. I read His holy Koran. ‘Alhamdulillah’ said I every time I got His gift. ‘Astagfirullah,’ said I when I got shocked. ‘Masha Allah,’ said I when I was amazed. What is wrong with all that? But now, this instance, I was told that I’m a cursed human being.”
When Kakek kept silent in a deep thought, I interrupted him with a question, “He said you’re like that, Kek?
“He didn’t quite say that I’m cursed anyhow. But, it is approximately like that.”
And I saw his eyes filled with tears. I pitied on him. In my deepest heart I swore on Ajo Sidi that had struck Kakek’s heart. And my curiosity made me fond of asking. And Kakek told his story again.
“Once upon time, ‘Ajo Sidi began to speak, ‘in the hereafter Allah investigated all of the dead. Angels did their task beside Him. Upon their hand, held a list of sins and man’s merits. There were plenty of men to be investigated. It was undeniable that war happened everywhere. And among the investigated men, there was a man named Haji Saleh. Haji Saleh just kept smiling because he was sure that he belonged to heaven. He stood with arms akimbo in pride and bowed his head over the nape of the neck. When he saw people were sent into hell, he forced his lips scornfully. And when he saw people got into heaven, he waved his hand, as if trying to say ‘see you later soon.’ The queue was so long as if it would have never finished. Decreased in front, increased in the back. And God investigated with His attributes.
Finally, it was Haji Saleh’s turn. Along his pride, he worshipped God. And God asked him the first question.
‘You?’
‘I’m Saleh. As I had hajj pilgrim, Haji Saleh is so.’
‘I don’t ask your name. To me, name is nothing. Name is just for you only in the world.’
‘Ay, ay, My Lord.’
‘What had you done in the world?’
‘I worshipped you of course, My Lord.’
‘Anything else?’
‘Every day, every night. Every time I always praised thy Name.’
‘Anything else?’
‘Oh, Lord, my job was nothing but praying and worshiping Thee, calling Thy Name. In Your grace, when I was sick, Thy name was sticking in my lips. And I always prayed, praying Thy generosity to make Thy ummah5 understand.’
‘Anything else?’
Haji Saleh could answer no more. He told everything he had done. But he realized that God was not merely asking; definitely, there was something that he had not told. But in his opinion, he certainly had already told everything. He didn’t know what he had to tell again. He plunged in thoughts and bent his head downward. The fire of hell suddenly warmed up the body of Haji Saleh’s. And he cried. But each time his tears dropped, the warm of hell dried it off.
‘Anything else?’ God asked.
‘I have told you everything I could, o, the Almighty God, the Gracious and Merciful, the Just and the Knowing.’ The dull Haji Saleh tried a strategy to lower himself and praised God expecting that God could be gentle to him and did not do wrong in asking him.
But God asked him again: ‘Not a single thing?’
‘O, o, ooo, well…my Lord. I always read thy holy Koran.’
‘Anything else?’
‘I told you everything, o, Lord. But if only there had been something I must have forgotten, I thank you because of Thy Knowing.’
‘Are you sure you don’t have anything you had done except what you have mention before?’
‘Yes, that is all, my Lord.’
‘You get in.’
And the angel spryly tweaked Haji Saleh to hell. Haji Saleh didn’t understand why the angel brought him to hell. He didn’t quite understand what was God’s intention from him and he believed that God did mistakes not.
Haji Saleh was gazed, because lots of his friends were burnt in hell, groaned in pain. And he got more perplexed with his own condition, because all of them whom he saw in the hell were no less obedient in their pray than him alone. Furthermore, there was one who had taken fourteen times doing hajj pilgrim to Mecca and had sheikh for his title. Then came Haji Saleh to them, and asked why all of them were sent into the hell. But in the same manner as Haji Saleh, they also didn’t understand why.
‘What’s the matter with our God?’ Said Haji Saleh later on, ‘Does He make us obey to pray and have a firm faith? And we had all done while we were living. But now, He sends us into hell?’
‘Yeah, we don’t quite understand too. Just take a look around people who came from the same country like us, and they had no less obedience in their religious service,’ said one of them.
‘It’s definitely unfair.’
‘Unfair it is,’ others repeat Haji Saleh’s statement.
‘If that is so, we have to ask testimony for our guilt.’
‘We have to remind God, maybe He’s mistaken taking us into this hell.’
‘Correct. Correct. Correct.’ All yell set seal Haji Saleh.
‘How if God doesn’t want to admit His mistake,?’ a shrill voice in the crowd among them.
‘We protest, we make resolution,’ said Haji Saleh.
‘Do we have to make a revolution too?’ ask someone that seemingly was a leader of revolution in the world.
‘That depends on the situation,’ Haji Saleh answered. ‘The most important recently, let us demonstrate seeing God.’
‘Exactly. In the world before, there were plenty we got from demonstration,’ a voice interrupted.
‘Agree. Agree. Agree.’ They shouted in troops.
Then they got along together facing God.
And God asked, ‘What do you want?’
Haji Saleh who became the leader and spokesman stepped forward. With his vibration and low cadence, he started the speech: ‘O, my Lord the Almighty. We are all truly thy ummah who were the most obedient of all in worshiping thee. We are human being that always mentioned thy name, praised thy greatness, and propagandized thy justice. We memorized thy holy book very well. We led no astray for us reading it. But then, my All powerful God, after you call us here, Thou put us into hell. So, before anything goes wrong, here, in the name of those who love thee, we strive for thy punishment to put us into heaven as what you have promised in thy holy book.’
‘Where did you stay in the world?’ God asked.
‘We are thy ummah who lived in Indonesia, my Lord.’
‘O, that’s a prosperous land, wasn’t it?’
‘Yes. That’ right, my Lord.’
‘The land which was wealthy and rich, full of metal, oil and a variety of mine materials, wasn’t it?
‘True. True. True, my Lord. That was our country.’ answered they altogether. Because the dawn of happiness appeared on their faces, and they felt certain that God has gone wrong to give them the punishment.
‘The country that the land was extremely fertile, till a tree could grow without planted?’
‘True. True. True. That was our country.’
‘A country whose citizens lived in poverty?’
‘Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was definitely our country.’
‘A country that was enslaved by others?’
‘Yes, my Lord. Damn the colonialists, my Lord.’
‘And your crop, they took it to their country, didn’t they?’
‘That’s right, my Lord. Till we had nothing. May they go to the hell.’
‘The chaotic country, where among you fight each other, while somebody else took your crop from you, right?’
‘That is right, my Lord. But for us, we didn’t really care about the riches. The most important for us was that we worshipped and praised Thou.’
‘You were willing to remain poor, weren’t you?’
‘True. We very much were, my Lord.’
‘Because of your willingness, your grandsons also remained poor, didn’t they?’
‘Truly, our grandsons were poor, but they were good at reciting. They memorized thy holy book.’
‘But the same as you, what they read was never put into their heart, wasn’t it?’
‘There was, my Lord.’
‘If so, why then you let yourself in poverty so that your grandsons lived in agony? Meanwhile, you let your wealth be taken by anyone else for their grandsons? And you preferred to fight among yourself, attack and blackmail into each other? I gave you a rich country but you were lazy. You preferred much to worship because you didn’t have to sweat by doing that, you didn’t want to work hard. While, I ordered you all to give charity if you were in poverty. Do you think I am fond of praises, crazy about being worshiped? No! You all have to enter the hell. Ay, angel. Escort them to the hell and put them in the bottom of it!’
Everyone’s faces became so pale and they had no courage to speak anymore. Now they realized what God’s intention in the world was. Yet, Haji Saleh wanted to know for sure whether what he had done in the world was right or wrong. Unfortunately, he had no courage to ask God. So, he asked an angel who escorted them.
‘Do you think it’s wrong if we worshipped God in the world?’ asked Haji Saleh.
‘Of course not. Your fault is just you pursued your ego too much. You were scared to go into hell. That made you worshipped obediently. But you forgot your family life, your own children and wife, till they lived in agony. That is your biggest fault, egoist. In fact, in the world, you had family, brothers and sisters, but you didn’t give so much care even a bit.’”
So that was the story from Ajo Sidi that I heard from Kakek. The story that made him depressed.
Then on the day after, when I left home early in the morning, my wife wondered whether I made a visit of condolence.
“Who is passed away?” I shocked.
"Kakek."
"Kakek?"
“Yes. Kakek was found dead in his surau at dawn in terrible condition. He slaughtered his throat with a razor.”
“For heaven‘s sake. Ajo Sidi brought trouble,” said I while I left my wife gazed in a hurry.
I looked for Ajo Sidi into his house. But I saw his wife only. Then I asked her.
“He has gone already,” she replied.
“Does he know that Kakek passed away?”
“Yes, he does. And he left a message that seven layers of shroud sheet are to be bought for Kakek.”
“And now,” ask I loosing mind when I heard all the incident done by Ajo Sidi that had no responsibility even a bit, “and, where is he now?”
“At work.”
“At work?” repeated I in hollow.
“Yes, He’s gone to work.”
Note:
1. Surau : a small prayer-house for Muslim
2. Garin : The mosque keeper
3. Kakek : grandpa in English
4. Tithe : rice or money paid at the end of fasting month of Ramadan
5. Ummah : Community of faithful within Islam
(Translated by Firman Nugraha & Edited by DY from a short story entitled “Robohnya Surau Kami”; Subang, September 2011)
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