Karakter Orang Kota (Yang Katanya) Istimewa

Akhir-akhir ini aku sering memikirkan tentang karakter orang kota ini. Kota yang katanya istimewa ini. Hal itu sering aku lakukan khususnya ketika aku berada di mesjid dekat rumah setiap kali aku melaksanakan solat Magrib. Sehabis solat, sering aku bertanya, apakah karakter orang kotaku ini pada hakikatnya memang tak punya bakat untuk memiliki rasa kepedulian dan solidaritas yang erat, punya bakat untuk bekerja sama alih-alih berkata “masing-masing” saja?  

Tak hanya pengalaman hidup memperlihatkan bukti-buktinya, akan tetapi justru orang kotaku ini sendiri, tetanggaku sendiri yang berkata demikian. Dengan lantang dia berkata demikian ketika aku tengah memarahi anak-anak yang ributnya minta ampun ketika aku dan jamaah yang lain sedang melaksanakan solat Magrib. Aku marah bukan hanya anak-anak itu sudah menjadi sangat keterlaluan dengan tingkahnya dan seperti tak lagi menganggap saranku agar mereka segera masuk mesjid ketika iqomat sudah diserukan. Berulang-ulang kali sampai aku sendiri bosan jadinya. Aku marah karena tak ada jamaah lain yang “mengurus” dan mewanti-wanti anak-anak itu, tak terkecuali Ustaz bahkan RT sekalipun. Mereka punya mata dan telinga tapi seolah tak dipergunakannya, dan mengetahui kelakuan anak-anak itu mereka pun tak memedulikannya. Dengan entengnya mereka berkata jika “anak-anak memang seperti itu. Nakal, susah dikasih tahu.” Hanya itu yang mereka ucapkan, tak lebih.

Adaptasi Sosial: Tentang Perkenalan dan Setelahnya

Persepsi seseorang terhadap sikap tak nyaman orang lain lebih dominan dari pada sikap yang membuat nyaman dirinya. Mengapa? Jelas ada yang salah di sana. Mungkin harus ada waktu untuk mempertimbangkan kemungkinan atau faktor-faktor apa saja yang membuat seseorang bersikap demikian. Hal-hal seperti latar belakang pendidikan, keluarga, adat istiadat, warisan pergaulan dan sebagainya. 

Di dunia pekerjaan, atau bahkan di dunia mana pun yang memungkinkan terjadinya adaptasi sosial, persepsi semacam ini kerapkali muncul. Seorang yang baru masuk wilayah baru jika tidak bersikap introvert maka dia akan bersikap ekstrovert, walau yang terakhir ini pun bukan berarti tanpa hambatan. Sungguh, bisakah seseorang menerima sosok baru yang bersikap sok kenal dan sok dekat (SKSD) terhadap dirinya? Jika sifat orang yang dihadapinya tak jauh beda dengan orang itu, tak lantas menjadi masalah. Tapi jika benar-benar berbeda, sikap seperti itu hanya akan membuat dirinya malu bahkan dianggap menyedihkan.

Classification Of Friends

Since we were a child, the surroundings demanded us to recognize and appreciate friends, moreover a new friend. There are three different kinds of friends in this life. We can classify them according to how well we know them and how well they know us.

We encounter each of them everyday, whether in school, home, or at the gym. However, we rarely spend much time actually thinking about and classifying these people. First, there are THE GENERAL ACQUAINTANCES. Second, there are THE SOCIAL PARTNERS. Lastly, we have The Best Friends—our true friends.

The first type of friend is SIMPLY an ACQUAINTANCE. This means that you basically only KNOW their NAME. You might NOT even REMEMBER what they look like if you go away for a holiday. Usually, you meet these types of friends in school, on the public transportation, in the gym, or anywhere else you might be. You normally would not mind having a chat with them, but if anything else came up, you usually would have NO PROBLEM PARTING COMPANY. You normally DON’T MISS them when they are elsewhere.

The second category is THE SOCIAL PARTNERS. This is because they are closer than acquaintances, but not as close as a true friend. Social partners are usually acquaintances who EVOLVE into "GUEST FRIENDS" through increased extracurricular activities. You know their name, a little of what they like or dislike, a little of their family history, and usually have SEVERAL THINGS IN COMMON. So too the social partners have to have several things in common with you.

The "guest friends" usually don’t CONVERSE about anything SUBSTANTIAL or deep, such as their innermost desires and fears. Usually, "guest friends" keeps the topic of CONVERSATION HAPPY and LIGHT. They would NOT OPEN UP to you how they are really feeling. They are still preoccupied with "SAVING FACE." You still do ENJOY hanging out with them. But when the GOING GETS TOUGH, they are not there for you.

The last type of friend is THE BEST FRIEND. Normally, you know them the LONGEST. You probably grew up together as children. He or she KNOWS EVERYTHING about you. Likewise, you know everything about him or her. They are basically FAMILY-LIKE. You know each others attitude and habits and can ALWAYS TELL when there is something wrong. You would NOT HESITATE to SHARE your deepest feelings or thoughts with them.

A TRUE FRIEND has no problem correcting you when you are wrong. Likewise, a true friend WILL LOVE you like a member of his own family. He or she will always be there for you. They are NOT PERFECT, but at least they WILL ALWAYS LOOK OUT for you and never do anything intentionally to “hurt” you.

On a final note, we should always remember to keep in mind what kind of a friend we are to other people. We are all SURROUNDED BY ACQUAINTANCE, guest, and best friends. We should always strive to be the best friends, which we can be.

Also, as the saying goes, "YOU CAN’T USE YOUR FRIENDS AND HAVE THEM TOO." We should APPRECIATE and VALUE all FRIENDSHIPS that come into our lives, no matter how deep or superficial. We should always remember that all BEST FRIENDS STARTED OUT as just ACQUAINTANCES. (Fim Anugrah/”Saswaloka”)